Daphne and so by default, Fred, decide we should all go out fishing for the day. Inclement weather and fog won't stop us. We live in a coastal town in California, so we're on the water a lot. I see crud on this boat and I remember exactly what bay we picked it up in, a month before.
Below deck Shaggy is eating sardines, marshmallows, fudge, and olives in a sandwich. Dude does not care. When you wear the same clothes every day and don't know if or when your next meal is coming, you'd chomp on it too.
The ocean lies. The waves lie. Everything lies. You can try to read it, but you're gonna get it wrong. Especially in the fog. The sunset is burning through the clouds and trying to melt our bodies. Rocks sink their teeth into the flesh of the hull, jarring us out of our haze. We wind up on Haunted Isle. Some pirates used to crash here, and they even had their own fortress called Vasquez Castle. But why call the piece of land the Haunted Isle? That's being either really insane, or just asking for trouble.
I know I'm part of this group. I know I'm man's best friend, or at least that is what they say. But I'm an alien dog. I don't understand anyone's anything. Nothing they say makes any sense to me. Their problems are not mine. They are talking, salvaging what they can on the boat, making their way to the castle. What I am doing? I'm smelling. That's what I do. Everyone else looks and talks. I smell, and listen. I smell water, dirt, paper, Shaggy and everyone else and everything they ate, fish, rocks, ink, trash, mud, shells...
I follow certain scents until i pick out what doesn't belong. My nose centimeters from the ground, not paying attention to anything else. I might as well be on another planet. I come across a paper and give the signal to the gang. Not only does the paper look like a treasure map, it looks like a warning message for people to stay away. That never works with us. The whole island, castle included, looks deserted so we decide to take a look around. One adventure leads into the next. Daphne's boating trip has been forgotten.
We walked into the deserted castle, filled with old junk, pirate portraits, and cobwebs. I whistled aloud to break up the spookiness, but my fucked up vocal chords made it sound strained and creepy. Not too long after, Daphne falls into a trap door. We hear a terrible cackling echoing around the castle walls. After a while you learn to get out fast.
After a scurry down the hall, Shaggy and I run into Daphne. Or rather, she bashed his head in with a vase. You come out here with a lot of anything - sandwiches, clues, emotional bullshit - whatever - you're only going to get it ripped off your body and you will feel the pain.
A ghost appears and it's laugh becomes more annoying than scary. Me and guys give chase, and to our credit, make some textbook tackling moves on him, but we all sail right through the phantom body.
Clues pile up and we end up in the catacombs. I don't want any part of this until the gang throws Scooby snacks in my face. At some point you say fuck everything. Search and destroy. I was ready for anything, but instead just find a bunch of magician's props. Then all hell breaks loose. Velma ends up running in and out magic boxes, Shaggy ends up getting sawed in half, and Fred, Daphne, and I end up on a magic carpet ride.
Fred's had enough, and comes up with yet another elaborate trap. But we can't set it off until I find the phantom. Of course it's down to me. Surrounded by people all the time, and yet all alone when it matters the most. I waltz around until I catch the attention of the phantom in some random hallway that looks like every other random hallway in this place. After a whirlwind of crazy (and painful) contraptions, I end up on top of the ghost.
Turns out all the weird shit that was happening was just magic tricks and the villain was a magician. I could have told everyone that from the get-go, and I scratch my balls with my tongue. This adventure sucked. But the outcome was that the bad guy got jail time, and we got off the island. We win.
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